I just bought an album by a 83 year old woman


Ok, technically she was 77 years old at the time of the recording.

If, God willing, I even live anywhere near that age, I may not be much like Mother Theresa, but I would settle for Elaine Stritch.

One of musical theaters best broads.  Amazing comedic timing.  Elaine Stritch: At Liberty is her self-examination/stand-up/Hollywood-tell-all/concert of her life story.  She performs the whole thing in a white button-up shirt, black tights and heels.  And it won two emmys.  She also won an emmy for her appearance on 30 Rock as Jack's mother.

I love her stories of Rock Hudson, Judy Garland, Noel Coward, Marlon Brando, Ethel Merman, Richard Burton, Rosalind Russell, Gloria Swanson, and more.  What an exciting time to be an actor and singer.  

She's been in Pal Joey, Company, Call Me Madam, Bus Stop, Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf, and more.  She bitter, tragic, crotchety, talented, hilarious, and sharp as a tack.  She's old as you can get, and it hasn't slowed her down one ounce.

"Two drinks a day, on or off stage. Two drinks a day. Two drinks a day. TWO drinks a day. It doesn't work! Not when you want eleven. And not when you start shopping for wineglasses in the vase department at Bloomingdale's." 

The saddest part of the show is when she sings "Not for Me/If Love is All."

Old man sunshine, listen you
never tell me dreams come true
just try it
and I'll start a riot

Beatrice Fairfax don't you dare
ever tell me he will care
I'm certain
It's the final curtain

I never wanna hear from any cheerful Pollyanna
who tells you fate
supplies a mate
it's all bananas

I believe in doing what I can
crying when I must
laughing when I choose
hey ho, if love were all
I would be lonely

I believe the more you love a man
the more you give your trust
the more you're bound to lose
although when shadows fall

I think if only somebody splendid
really needed me
someone affectionate and dear
cares would be ended if I knew that he
wanted to have me near

He's knocking on a door
not for me
he'll plan a two by four
by not for me

When every happy plot
ends with a marriage knot
but there's no knot for me

Cares would be ended if I knew that he
wanted to have me near...

I believe that since my life began
the most I've had is just 
a talent to amuse
hey ho, if love were all

It's so depressing.  Elaine actually did marry a man named John Bay, but only for 10 years before he died of cancer.

Now I have to buy the Judy Garland album of her live at Carnegie Hall, where she too sang "If Love Were All."

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