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mcsweeney's lists for a wednesday

3.26.2008

Titles
of Love Songs
I Would Write
for People Like Me.

BY KATHY SALERNO

- - - -

"A Friend Again, Naturally"

"Hopelessly Inexperienced Sexually"

"Mind Boyfriend's Back"

"Wishing, Hoping, Checking Your MySpace Relationship Status"

"Never Gonna Ask You Out, Never Gonna Make My Move"

"Give Me Just a Little More Time (By Then You'll Surely Be Dating Someone Else)"

"Are You That Anybody?"

"Let's Give Them Something to Prove I'm Straight"



Broadway Musicals
Written by Gender-Studies Professors.

BY SASCHA COHEN

- - - -

Annie Get Your Symbol of Violent, Colonizing Western Masculinity

Hello, Doula!

How to Succeed in Unpaid, Undervalued Domestic Labor Without Really Trying

The Best Little Female-Operated Sex-Worker Co-op in Texas

Bye Bye Burqa

Joseph and the Amazing Heterosexist Dreamcoat of Male Privilege

Jesus Christ Oppressive Religious Figure

Lys Mys


Brews
to Accessorize
the Modern Hipster.

BY KEVIN SCHEITRUM

- - - -

I Liked These Guys Before Anybody Else Knew About Them English Bitter

Boys Don't CrIPA

Oh Fuck My Rent Check Didn't Come in the Mail Bock

Fixed-Gear Bicycleweisse

Essentially Empty Yet Always Present Messenger Baggleywine

Almost Stout of the Closet

All My Friends Are White Ale

So What If I Messed Up Your Starbucks Order Porter

Rummage Sale Pale Ale

I Don't Really Like This but I'm Drinking It to Get Back at My Parents and/or Friends With an Overt and Crass Display of Being Cultured Lambic

I Am Entirely Fucking Done With Society Because It Is Run by Corrupt and Criminally Exploitative Man-Machines Who Don't Give One Shit for Anyone or Anything Except for Money and Power Light Lager

Sleeping Pillsner

2 comments:

Kristen said...

Joseph and the Amazing Heterosexist Dreamcoat of Male Privilege

LOVE IT! I own two - one for winter and one for summer!

Maryann said...

You are covered!