Part 6 in a 6,837 Part Series of Family Guy Musical References


Season: 1

Episode: 7

Episode Title: Brian: Portrait of a Dog

Reference: Brian is about to perform in a dog show with Peter.  It's the morning of, and he's in the bathroom in front of the mirror.  Lois comes in, talks to him, and then leaves.  He then puts in eye drops, pauses, and says animatedly with jazz hands, "Showtime!", ala Joe Gideon from Fosse's All That Jazz:

'Roun dis tiyem, Caesar Augustus wuz like, "I can has cenzus?"


Oh yes. The Bible, translated into LOLCatspeak.

So many one and two and three and four-star generals unemployed...


"Nobody thinks of assigning him, when they stop whining and dining him..."

Sorry, I got distracted. Ann E. Dunwoody has just been named the first female four-star general!

Cooking with Cormac McCarthy.


Here is a great tid-bit from a feature in the December Vanity Fair.  I feel like it's something I would find on McSweeneys.  'As told to' Craig Brown:

But Good.



And salt.
And water.
And Fire.



Place the pasta in the water and the salt in the water and the water in the pot and the pot on the fire.
In the pot?  The fire in the pot?
No.  The water in the pot.  The pot on the fire.
The pasta in the water?
Yes, in the water.
And the salt in the fire?
No.  The salt in the water.
And the water on the fire?
No.  The water in the pot and the pot on the fire.  Not the water on the fire.  For then the fire will die and dying be dead.
Nor will the water boil and the pasta will drain dry and not cooked and hard to the teeth.


The salt falls nor does it cease to fall.
The water boils.  So be it.
Cease from placing your hand in the boiling water.  Place your hand in the boiling water and it will cause you pain.  
Much pain?
Very much pain.


After ten minutes.  The pasta stiff and dry and upright no more.  The pasta lank and wet and soft.  In the eternal damp of water.
Pour water free like some ancient anointing.  The pasta left alone in the pot.  Alone and naked.
The salt.  Where's the salt?
The salt is gone.  Lost to the water and gone forever.
I grieve for the salt.
It is the salt for which I grieve.

There's more, but I don't want to infringe too much on copyright, so buy the magazine to read yourself.