"I'm old enough to love you from afar. Too trusting, yes; but then women usually are."


This is another post about Fleetwood Mac.  I just want to give you an official heads up.  Yep, I'm on the psycho-obsessive train again, headed for Why-yes-I-can-name-the-third-best-selling-album-of-all-time-and-what-broke-up-and-then-brought-back-together-(here's-a-hint-it-was-a-president)-the-band-who-wrote-it-ville.  The trip so far has been full of tragic drama over spoiled true love.  So of course I'm eating it up like a bowl of crispy-gooey Fleetwood Mac 'n' Cheese.

So remember what I said in my other post about how I wasn't into Tusk yet?  Please take care to strike that from the record.

Tonight I saw this video from the Tusk documentary for Stevie's song "Angel."  She wanted to write a carefree rock song to try to break out of her serious dark songs, but this one turned out dark to a quicker beat, that's all.  My two favorite parts of the video are between her and Lindsey (surprise!).  The first part of the video is the band working in the studio on the song, and there's a bit where Lindsey sits down at the piano with her.  It really shows how he was so good at arranging her songs and making them the best they could be for her (More on this later.  Get excited!  I know you are!).  It's at 02:30.  Their two voices and a  

The second part is during the stage performance when he comes over to share the mic with her and puts his arm around her and sings in silly bursts (around 06:23)--grabbing her and then stepping away (each time he touches her--I wonder if it brings back pain or joy in the memory.  I'm sick, I know, but she looks positively elated when he does it).  Here's a couple who were together for like, SEVEN YEARS and then broke up and had to still see each other and work together for like, TEN YEARS after they broke up without the chance to really have distance from one another to heal and move on.  I mean, he's up on that stage singing this song with his arm around her.  Maybe the song's ABOUT HIM.  Or worse, about some other guy she'd been with since they broke up!  (I like to imagine they're all about him and no one else.  LET ME HAVE THAT FANTASY, OK?).  How do you do that?  How do you help someone write or arrange or sing a song that's about how you broke their effing heart?*  It's creative madness!  Here's the video:

Here are the lyrics with my favorite parts emboldened:

sometimes the most beautiful things
the most innocent things
and many of those dreams
pass us by, keep passing me by

you feel good
I said it's funny that you understood
I knew you would
when you were good
you were very, very good

I still look up
when you walk in the room
I've got the same wide eyes
they tell the story
I try not to reach out
when you turn around
and you say hello
and we both pretend
there was an end
but there was no ending

so I close my eyes softly
til I become that part of the wind
that we all long for sometime
and to those that I love
like a ghost through a fog
like a charmed hour
and a haunted song
and the angel of my dreams

I still look up
I try hard not to look up
that girl was me
track a ghost through the fog
a charmed hour--a haunted song
track a ghost through the fog, baby

ooh, you try hard
but you'll never catch me--yeah

Next up on my ohmygoshIcan'tbelievehowmuchIadorethissong Tusk run is "Storms."  Holy mother, let's take a break.

Ok, we're back.  Have you heard this song?  Instead of a video for this one I have a link.  So I'm going to post the lyrics, but listen to the song as you read the lyrics or you'll lose the full effect!  It's so melancholy it's ridiculous.  

every night that goes between
I feel a little less
as you slowly go away from me
this is only another test

every night you do not come
your softness fades away
did I ever really care that much?
is there anything left to say?

every hour of fear that I spend
my body tries to cry
living through each empty night
a deadly call inside

I haven't felt this way I feel
since many a year ago
but in those years and the lifetimes past
I did not deal with the road

and I did not deal with you I know
though the love has always been
so I search to find an answer there
so I can truly win

every hour of fear that I spend
my body tries to cry
living through the each empty night
a deadly call inside

so I try to say
goodbye my friend
I'd like to leave you with something warm
but never have I been a blue calm sea
I have always been a storm
always been a storm
ooh always been a storm

we were frail
she said,
"every night he will break your heart"
I should have known from the first
I'd be the broken hearted
but I loved you from the start
save us...
and not all the prayers in the world
could save us

Um, yeah.  My body tries to cry?  Never has she been a blue calm sea but has always been a storm?  Every night he will break your heart?  Not all the prayers in the world could save us?  Now that you mention it, I did want my ribcage to be torn open and for you to crush my heart, Stevie.  Thanks so much.

Last but certainly not least we have "Beautiful Child."  (Apparently if you name your song this you can't lose with me--I adore Rufus Wainwright's very different "Beautiful Child" as well.  I just had a duet epiphany: two of my favorite vocalists, Rufus and Stevie, duetting.  Let's make it so.)  There's speculation about who Stevie is singing this song to, but as I mentioned before, I like to think it's Lindsey.  One, she says "you fell in love when I was only ten," and Lindsey and Stevie met when they were very young, around 16 or 17.  (Ok, now I've got to tell the story.  According to Stevie they were at a party and he was at the host's piano playing "California Dreamin'" and she thought he was so cute that she went up and sang the Michelle Phillips harmony (I'm much more partial to Cass myself, but that is neither here nor there) with him.  They didn't formally meet until weeks later.  Be still my heart already.)  Please listen along with the lyrics:

beautiful child, beautiful child
you are a beautiful child
and I am a fool once more

you fell in love when I was only ten
the years disappeared 
much has gone by since then
I bite my lip, can you send me away
you touch, I have no choice
I have to stay
I had to stay

sleepless child, there is so little time
your eyes say yes
but you don't say yes
well I wish that you were mine
I wish that you were mine

you say it will be harder in the morning
I wait for you to say, 'just go'
your hands held mine so few hours
and I'm not a child anymore

I'm not a child anymore
I'm tall enough to reach the stars
I'm old enough to love you from afar
Too trusting, yes
but then women usually are

I'm not a child anymore
no, I'm not a child, oh no
tall enough to reach for the stars
I will do as I'm told
even if I never hold you again 
I never hold you again

I wish that you were mine, I wish that you were mine, 
well, I wish that you were mine

What's that?  Oh, I'm sorry, I must have fallen off my chair and CRAWLED INTO THE FETAL POSITION.  Who else needs another glass of wine?  I know I do.  Your hands held mine for so few hours?  Too trusting, yes; but then women usually are?  I can't get over how amazing this song is sung.  How all of the songs in this post are sung!  Stevie, I'm afraid I'm your musical soulmate.  Yes, I know it's a bit of a letdown; we've had completely opposite life experiences and you've never met me and likely now REALLY don't want to, but let's face facts.  Your music cuts me to the core and I can't seem to get over it (rest assured, faithful reader, that I will).

Well, between these such-a-huge-bummer-it's-a-high songs tonight and my three glasses of wine (don't worry mom, I feel fine!) I'm ready to head to my bed and not wake up for days!  Who's with me?  Goodnight.

*It's come to my attention that maybe Stevie cheated on Lindsey.  I'm not sure I believe it.  To hear her talk about how much she loved him and his genius and only wanted to be near him and was willing to work menial jobs so he could work on his art...I just don't see it.  My theory about "Go Your Own Way" when he talks about the 'shackin' up' is that he wanted to marry her ("If I could, baby I'd give you my world") but she refused ("how can I when you won't take it from me?") and wanted to just keep on shackin' up WITH HIM.  Just a theory.


Holly said...

MaShaw. Excuse me while I come back from my OWN moment in the fetal position--from laughing so hard! Love your obsessive behavior, it's delightful! :)

Maryann said...

I can't believe you made it that far in the post! I'm amazed! :) We need to hang out, friend. Oh, and I got your Christmas card, thank you!