Part 10 in a 6,837 Part Series of Family Guy Musical References


Season: 7

Episode #: 12

Episode Title: 420

Time: 10:28

Reference: Brian and Stewie stage a musical number called "Bag of Weed" to the tune of "Me Ole Bamboo" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968).


Family Guy:

Silence!: Silence of the Lambs, the Musical

Someone made a musical of Silence of the Lambs. I've never seen the film (and this didn't convince me to), but now I have "Put the F***ing Lotion in the Basket" stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Other songs include "Are You About a Size 14?", "Quid Pro Quo" and "In the Dark with a Maniac."

History Humor: Manifest Destiny Wagon Pool


From McSweeneys, of course.



- - - -
Capt. William Clark,
First off, thank you for being so kind—we're all very excited about the Westward Expansion and most grateful that you're offering transportation. Being unable to simply disappear and rematerialize somewhere in Oregon (despite being ordained by God to expand the country), I have the honor of asking you for a ride.
A bearer of burden I must be: I noticed from the bulletin that you will be leaving on Wednesday. This presents somewhat of a logistical problem for me, as I'm having a tapeworm removed the day before and doubt I'll be recovered sufficiently for the journey until Thursday at the earliest. Also, my psychiatrist wants to go over a few key points with me about stresses the journey may present. (I'm suicidal, but just technically.)
Capt. Meriwether Lewis

- - - -
Dear Meriwether,
Thank you for your interest. My role is merely to act as a viaduct for God's way. If you have anyone to thank, it is He.
I must say I have qualms about changing the departure date from Wednesday to Thursday, as it would set an undesirable precedent of erratic ad-hoc scheduling. I have carefully, over the course of a year, planned out every detail of this journey and have determined that—to ensure I (we?) don't miss the Indigenous Peoples of America Welcome Dinner—I must leave on Wednesday.
I'm usually a more receptive person, but my destiny is at stake. I'm sorry to be so dismissive, but if you can't meet me at the falls of the Ohio River on Wednesday, then you'll either have to find another wagon pool or go "in spirit."

- - - -

Hi, Will,
I'm not one to throw titles around, but I can only presume you're aware that I'm private secretary to President Jefferson, and appointed leader of the Expedition. True, I don't have a wagon. Yes, I'm manic. Life is full of imperfection. I will meet you at the falls of the Ohio River on Thursday.
- - - -

Dear Meriwether,
I was dismayed by your last letter. Tom Jefferson is a good friend of mine, and assured me that I am to share command of the Expedition. Your terse rhetoric is effective, but not as much as an absent wagon. You are free to show up at the falls of the Ohio River on Thursday, but I will be a full day's journey westward.
Take care,

- - - -

Or is it Will? I don't care.
Jefferson has been fully briefed on your incorrigible attitude. I've instructed Sergeants Gass and Ordway to barricade your wagon should you decide to leave on Wednesday. Any attempt to evade the sergeants will be considered an act of aggression.
- - - -

The Ohio River, being a river and all, is rather long. (I'll spare you a "path of least resistance" metaphor.) Perhaps I will simply depart from another spot. I doubt Gass and Ordway are omniscient; otherwise, they'd know you're insane.

- - - -

Dear William,
It turns out that my appointment to have my tapeworm removed is actually on Monday, so I'll be able to meet you on Wednesday after all! I really should look at my calendar more.
Listen, I'm sorry for our recent tussle, and somewhat embarrassed. I hope that you can attribute my less-than-stable resolve to the extreme excitement I feel about the new West. No hard feelings.
Meriwether Lewis

- - - -

Dear Meriwether,
No worries, I'll see you on Wednesday. By the way, what do you mean by "technically" suicidal?

When webinar participants forget to mute their phones.


Quietly, in the background: "You and I both like to play with our hair when we do these things."

Webinar instructor: "We didn't hear that."

"I have become an enigma to myself," he says, "and herein lies my sickness and inner struggle."


Since his own questing mind is his closest companion, Augustine has the bright idea of using that mind to objectify and understand himself. In merging Augustine with the protagonist and Augustine the narrator, he will come to know himself.

- Will You Take Me as I Am: Joni Mitchell's Blue Period by Michelle Mercer

My new Joni Mitchell book has a really interesting chapter about Augustine's Confessions. I haven't read them (I've only read excerpts), but their use in talking about Joni's autobiographical period is fascinating.

Mercer talks about how Augustine basically invented autobiography in the Western world by being the first to define and exemplify the "practice of revealing the self and its history in words." His writing before Confessions was intended to be read communally to large audiences. He found that writing for a solo reader changed his focus. Patricia Hampl's introduction to his work states this: "The Confessions is startling because Augustine has found a way to reveal the profound intimacy of a mind thinking. This is the narrative engine that drives autobiography: consciousness, not experience, is the galvanizing core of a personal story."

Confession takes on two meanings for Augustine: to reveal his sins but also to reveal what he knows about God. Out of his own confession of sin, he feels justified in proclaiming "the origin and meaning of good and evil for everyone." He exegetes the 'original sin' of Adam and Eve, and from it the need for everyone to be baptized and cleansed of this sin, just as he has been. What do you think of this:

"The cost of Augstine's great literary leap, then, the price of his innovation of first putting consciousness onto the page, is shame. Something of the mystical Augustine does live on in certain often-quoted phrases: "Our whole business therefore in this life is to restore the health of the eye of the heart whereby God may be seen." But Augustine the mystic was no match for Augustine the architect of sin and salvation. "The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works," he also wrote, much more influentially. After Augustine's Confessions, there was no closeness to God without the soul-cleansing redemption of owning up to sin. He made shame the only route to holiness."

Yikes! He made shame the only route to holiness. If you've read and studied Augustine, what do you make of this? Do you find the source of confession to be shame? When and where is shame a bad or good thing? I'm all for owning up to sin, but where should shame come in?

Here's some heavy theology for a Joni Mitchell music-appreciation book! Well, Joni hates Augustine.

"Mitchell blames Augustine for much that is wrongheaded in the Judeo-Christian tradition. By her account, he misattributed his own human failing of cowardice (not marrying the woman he loved [a concubine]) to original sin, and then had the chutzpah to turn the faulty notion of original sin into doctrine. Sure, Augustine finished off mysticism as a legitimate route to the Christian God, but her real grievance with him is that he's a "champion bullshitter"--that is, he regimented the act of confessing the truth and made it dogma without seeking the deeper truth about himself and his own messy motivations. He didn't know himself well enough to serve the inner reality of the human condition, which is what Mitchell believes anyone who puts pen to paper should do--and what she's striven to do throughout her life's work."

How much theology is impacted by personal motivations? Good grief, if I had written theology when I was younger (or even now, *ahem*), who knows what kind of crazy shit I would be slinging because of what it meant to my personal, private issues and how I related them to God? I remember in high school literally praying that God would take away my sexuality because I was so afraid of lust. Where did the messy motivations of the Scripture authors and all theologians come in to what they were expressing to be necessary for all Christians to do or believe? How can God deal with us individually on our own level that is unlike any other, and yet still try to be a kingdom working and living together?

This section of the book on confession kept reminding me of blogging. Much like publishing a memoir or writing personal songs, you allow yourself, good and bad (depending on how you censor things), to be known to anyone. Joni hates being called a 'confessional songwriter':

"When I think of confession, two things come to mind. The swinging light and the billy club, you know, trying to get a confession out of somebody that's been captured. Confess, confess! Or a witch hunt. Or trials. Confession is somebody trying to bet something out of you externally. You're imprisoned. You're captured. They're trying to get you to admit something. To humiliate and degrade yourself in a bad position. Then there's the voluntary confession of Catholicism. Where you go to this window and you talk to this priest and you tell him that you're having sexual fantasies and he's wanking on the other side of the window. Both of those things, that's confession. That's the only two kinds of confession I know--voluntary and under duress--and I am not confessing."

In relation to art, poetry or music, or what have you, the main issue that so many creators take with 'confession' is the implication that something needs to be cured or fixed, rather than expressed and shared. "She strives to find and express human truths, and in the process, she happens to reveal quite a bit about herself."

I know it's easy to write Joni off as just some jaded, egotistical artist, and I know my theological knowledge is beyond sparse, but I thought her opinion was interesting.

Lisa Schwarzbaum on why we love Susan Boyle.


"In our pop-minded culture so slavishly obsessed with packaging -- the right face, the right clothes, the right attitudes, the right Facebook posts -- the unpackaged artistic power of the unstyled, un-hip, un-kissed Ms. Boyle let me feel, for the duration of one blazing showstopping ballad, the meaning of human grace. She pierced my defenses. She reordered the measure of beauty. And I had no idea until tears sprang how desperately I need that corrective from time to time."


In case you somehow missed it, Susan Boyle sings on Britain's Got Talent.

I agree with Lisa's assessment, and would add that the song choice doesn't hurt either.

Fantasy book shopping spree.


Sorry Peter Lawford, I'm going to buy my own umbrella. Thanks, anyway.


I'm in the market for an umbrella. Yesterday was pouring and my umbrella broke. I want a new one, but I can't decide if I want it with a design or clear. If you know of where to find some fun umbrellas, let me know!

Musicals understand the importance of umbrellas, as well as their magical properties.