"Stay there. Don't move."


It's often said that a traumatic experience early in life marks a person forever, pulls her out of line, saying, 
"Stay there.  Don't move."

                                                                                                                  - Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my 2nd surgery on my meningocele.  I've been feeling it this week, to quote Neil Young, as if 'there's a shadow running through my days.'


Linda said...

Lauren Bacall once said "A man's illness is his private territory and no matter how much he loves you and how close you are, you stay on the outside. You are healthy."

I am fortunate that I have not faced the diagnoses and surgeries that you have, and I can only begin to fathom how alone you must have felt two years ago as you fought these private battles. But I do hope that on this anniversary, you are able to recognize how very far you have come, and that you see how very much you are loved.

Okay, that got a bit "Hallmarky." I'll try to tone that down a bit.

Hey kid, a lot of people are real glad those times are behind you! We all wish you nothing but the best going forward, and no one more than myself.

Linda said...

This came off weird, didn't it? I swear I didn't mean it to be weird. I've only just now been finding out about you went through two years ago (I had to google "meningocele" to find out what it meant- and even spell check right now has no idea it's a real word and suggests I change it to "meningeal" instead). So any way, I guess the news about what you went through was kind of new to me and maybe I got a bit more wide eyed about it than was necessary. Sorry about that.

Maryann said...

Oh no! Linda, it didn't come off weird! I was really touched you commented--I kept meaning to comment back! I love that Lauren Bacall quote, and your comment was so lovely and just the right tone.

I also tried to google 'meningocele' when I was diagnosed with my spina bifida (which is what I should call it more often), and spelled it wrong to begin with.

You did NOT get more wide eyed about it than necessary. I love your comments and this one was no different. It's daunting to try to comment on more 'over-sharey' posts (which I do too many of). Sorry to leave you out in the comment cold!

Maryann said...

in fact, it's a really perfect comment considering you haven't been told all the facts! People often say the wrong thing about this sort of experience ('it was all part of God's plan' or 'at least you got through it!') and instead you said you had no idea what it must have been like but reminded me that I am loved--which in my book are the two best things to say!!!

Kj said...

been thinking of all you all week, Mostly in the category of how May always turns out to be a traumatic month for me and people I love. Here's to another May!

Maryann said...

thanks, Kj. Yes, to another May!